Deep in thought from this repetitive dance,

I am not fishing,

There is no bait,

I am throwing my reel into these deep waters,

It is not defeat but perhaps I am simply tired,

Dont we all try to hold those who do not wish to be held?

When you see the love of forever in someones eyes its overwhelming,

The perfect blue magic of the sky.....

I walk the sandy shores with my dog along side,

I remember your arms,

When the  sunrise would mean a beautiful day with you, 

I guess I lack knowing where it all started.
I am skipping right to the end.

The betrayal I must deserve.

I was crying with snot dripping down my face.
Opening up trying to tell you how scared I am.

She yelled at me to stop crying.

Your half truths.
Your one foot in.

My note book of pain hidden away....

The pain you caused and now your lies...

Everything feels so different. 

I feel so alone in this world, 

I ache for words.

Soft touch and understanding.

Reaching for anything to make anything worth something. 

My words feel like shallow unmarked graves upon deaf ears. 

Fuck I feel so alone,

I think about you almost everyday,
I wonder if you are happy,
I wonder if she understand you the way I did,
I wonder if she is open with you the way I was,

I wonder about a lot of things.....

I walk with my dark passenger,

We walk together like every other day before....

I can see the lives behind us in your eyes,
My heart has always been in your hands,

I want us to share this life together,
I push for to much to fast,

Your shoulders big as mountains,
Framed like a house.. I want to crawl inside,

I crave arms wrapped around me from behind,
No reason,
No mystery,
Just love,

I miss you today and I miss the way things were,

I miss the way things could have been,

Driving around,

Your coffee mug twisted shut,

The way I would touch your hand,

The way I would let you know that I was there,