FAAK MY HEAD

I am not sure what the hell I am doing,
I just can't get you off my mind,
It could be 'cause your so far away,
I met you in another life time,

I 'll sending you smoke signals,
and a post card in the mail,

I only know something about you,
makes me so damn comfortable,

I have all this romance flowing through my veins.
I keep having dreams so intense,
I keep thinking about everything that lead me here,
I don't know where to step next,

Love it comes and goes and I can feel it flex and change,
Love is beauty like a flower,
I would rather admire from a distance?
.... because we all know what happens in the fall.
.....because we all know how it feels to fall.

I am felling way to old for this kinda shit,
I am not sure what I am supposed to do,
The only thing i know,
Is that it feels so damn good next to you.

Woman-work in progress-

I moved away. I moved a hour and a half away from my life. My wife that I loved so very much left me. I stopped where I stood and I left. I told myself that I needed to get away and I was right I did. I told myself that I needed to sit with myself. Its been four months. I read, I lay on my floor naked and feel the air and listen to the crickets outside my window. I live beside my father and his partner. Yes, he is a homosexual. I now have a roomate. He is a sweet little 21 year old, he is my fathers apprentice and needs a place for a few more weeks. I relized the other day that I have had no female friends.

BOOM KAZZZAAM!!

Something happened. Its like I heard a click, my mind stopped, by breathe weakened and I understood. I finally after 30 fucking years had a epiphany. I love woman. I love female energy. I love the beauty of a strong framed woman. I love a womans eyes looking back at me with tenderness and curves. I love talking about things under the surface and that hold some sense of meaning to both parties conversing.

I miss women. I love women. I am a lesbain. I am a woman. I love my breasts, the breasts that I used to hate. I love my little stomach, the stomach that I one day want to feel a child grow inside of me. I spend my time listening to ignorant comments about women. I wonder if it is fear. I wonder is it frightening to think that we nay be a creature wiser and more worldly in our ways? Is is strange to think that we may be able to see through your puffed out feathers that you want to force people to think that you take up more room than you actually do???

I used to be a mysogynist. I used to hate myself. I uses to hate that I loved women. I saw a illusion in masculin strength. The physicality of it all. Women are deeper. The strength we have isn't a shield. We don't need people to see our strength. We have it inside of a sharp tongue and our beautiful minds. It comes from within and it grows with every ignorant comment. It grows with every perverted stare. I love it. I love my strength. I love the strength of women. I miss women in my life. I miss women in my bed. I ache to feel a womans warm soft body pressed against mine. Your hand running across the contours of my face. Eyes looking right through me. I miss the coffee dates at our old kitchen table every morning.... fck...

Hot damnit

I can't stop thinking about you,
I am laying up in my bed,
thinking about your body,
thinking you'd give great head,

Hott damn I want to throw you down,
Build you up, tie you down................Slap you around ,
Hott damn I want to throw you down,
Build you up, tie you down................Slap you around ,

Up down all around........
Up down all around........

I want slap you across your face,
Squeeze the sides of your mouth together,
Feel the contours of your face,
Kiss your wet lips for a taste.



Hott damn I want to throw you down,
Build you up, tie you down..............Slap you around ,
Hott damn I want to throw you down,
Build you up, tie you down..............Slap you around ,


Up down all around........
Up down all around........

Alone

I feel distant from the place I call my home,
Nothing like what I used to be,
I am a vacant stare,
I am a dial tone,

I don't cry anymore,
Gotta stand firm,
Gotta stay strong,
I am scared we will all fall,

I need you so much to be so strong for me,
I need you to be the one to love and comfort me,
I get older and I understand all I have is me,
I get colder and I understand all I have is me ,

Mistake

We made a promise,
Time frozen and my heart pounds,
The sun beats down hard on my flesh,
Still,
I walk away,
Its not hard to fill the sketchy shuffle of your shoes...
Your a fucking chameleon,
You pick and choose,
I could find a dozen lovers,
Thats not as many personalities as you,
I am hard grounded,
Dark skin from the bleaching sun,
I know who I am,
I know what I need,
I was never in love with you,
I just wanted to make due,

Left field

Magnetic pull,
Jail bait,
Pulsate,
Pulsate,
Deep breathe,
Eyes lock,
Smile,
Left field,
Random,
Pulsate,
Pulsate,
Deep breathe,
Eyes lock,
Magnetic pull,
Eyes lock,
Left field,

My sparrow my darling

I have to grow steady on my feet,
You can't coddle me anymore,
In those moments when I feel weak,

This journey takes us to where we must be,
Careful stepping,
Beautiful uncertainty,
I step on to a path that is only mine,
Will ours ever cross again?

The humdrum pounding,
The beat so swiftly changed,
I must be brave and sharp,
I am careful with my footing,

I am lady love,
I am a beautiful sparrow,
You are not alone in the winds of change,
I never wanted to clip your wings,

Beauty

Beauty is..
Beauty does,
Up and down,
All around,

Love me,
Comfort me,
All of this,
Don't stand for me,

I wont be here,
Far from close,
Close from gone,
Leave me strong,