Wishing your arms were open,
Looking down at mine crossed on my chest,
Full of sad broken me,
Wanting you to be something I cant seem to be,

I remember lessons that I guess I gotta learn,
I remember all the things and I can't seem to let go,
My heart like woodgrain,
Like a stump with the rings,

Showing years,
Showing time,
Showing all of me,
Broken by time,

This pit is black and the walls are caving in,
They are heavy wet earth,
The sun feels like less and less,
The days feel shorter.... further between,

I am broken and there is no fake pill to lift me up,
I have nothing but broken shattered bones and a aching heart,

Full of sad broken me...

October 13th,
I should have died that day,
Everything in my life,
Fell apart that day,

Big spoon,
Little spoon,
I miss you,
Like I always do,

Riding around,
Vroom Vroom,
I remember how things were,
I miss you

I cant believe it has been a year since you left. I don't think that a day has gone by without the feeling of a void in my life. I can still feel you sometimes. You were and still are the only person that I can count on. I miss you quietly in my own way it seems. I don't have much in common with any of your other friends. I miss you. I miss you everyday. I still feel so far away from everything.

X

I remember you said I was so beautiful,
You said how could someone not desire you?

I would feel safe and desired in your arms,
I felt beautiful and worthy of such things,

I wanted to feel your strength against me,
I craved the softness you would also bring,

Now I feel like all I have is the distance between between,

I want so much to trust that this is real,
That anything is real at all,
I feel dead in my heart,
My eyes feel empty and lacking soul,

I thought about my belt around my neck,
I thought about it,
I thought about a bloodied tub,
I thought about it,

I thought a lot,
I wondered if I would get to see you again if I did,
I feel like I have no one,
I feel empty and alone,

I miss it when your hands loved my skin,
The days before all I had left were tears,

When you would kiss me and hold me,
The days before all I had left were tears,

I can not see a light to guide me home,
The darkness of the night found its way deep inside,

You don't love me the way in which I love you,