Broken

It has been 21 days since she left. It has been 21 days since I was happily married and two days away from house inspection. She was my best friend, my lover and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The person I tried to make a baby with and the person that I made promises to and curled up beside at night. I cried for seven days and nights. I couldn't eat for weeks. I don't know what kind of love she left me for, I wonder if she is going to wonder the rest of her days looking for blind infatuation or passionate one nighters. I am completly fucking lost. She was enough for me, her touch, her breathe and her body against mine in the night. She was my best friend and I felt for that brief moment that I was apart of something beautiful.

I try to remember how it all happened, the moment it all began and the flicker in time that I knew that I loved her. I remember being quiet and shy, which was out of my usual obnoxious behavour. I used to be macho butch. I used to fuck hard and rough. I used to dominate my prey. I used to be short haired butch and they used to be femme. I used to be a creature much different than I am now. I am now a beautiful woman broken by another beautiful woman. I have been trying to pinpoint when my fear overcame me.